Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Home invasion suspect dies of gunshot wound

http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/fairborn-police-investigate-shooting-on-victoria-a/nT8pZ/

This is a story about a death. On the 28th, five men invaded a home of some Wright State students with a plastic weapon and managed to force one of the students to the ground. During the struggle, the student called to his roommate, who entered the room with a real gun and shot two of the invaders, one of whom this story directly speaks about. That man has died.

I only have a few small complaints about this story. For one thing, the headline talks exclusively about the man who died, but the story dwells longer on the previous story about the break-in. It is good to have the context, but the way this is written, the story seems slightly misleading about its content. The only other comment that I have is that they might have included more about the man who died - the hospital, maybe, or where he was from. The article, perhaps out of respect for the deceased, also does not include a picture of the man that the article is written about.

Otherwise, I applaud the use of multiple platforms to tell the story - the page includes text, images, and video to tell the story. And, in slightly more nit-picky praise, I applaud the correct grammar in the first sentence.

17 comments:

  1. Danny has a point in how the article has a slightly misleading beginning- the title of the article is different from the basic subject of the story. This could be a ploy to draw in the audience for the story? The multiple platforms does help the attract the reader in an engaging and aesthetic way, and keep their attention for the long hall. Does the article seem incomplete in information? Perhaps not incomplete, but definitely askew in what is trying to relate.

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  2. I too agree that it was slightly misleading or rather tried to hook you in with the headline and then made you wait for the full details. I like how it introduced what happened in the first paragraph but it would have been better if in the second paragraph they went into what happened to him or like Danny said which hospital he went to, where he was from or when he was confirmed dead. Did he die in the ambulance or during surgery? I can see them not including that out of respect but they also could have just not done the appropriate extensive research.

    Overall however, I think it was grammatically well written and I also enjoyed the multiplatform aspect of it. It certainly added to the story as a whole.

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  3. I really liked the usage of the different multi-platforms. I think having images, videos and other resources included in a story reinforces it's credibility and quality. More stories should incorporate this. I thought the story was well written, but the title was misleading. They should have included more information on the murdered suspect and the other robbers.

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  4. KYLE WIGGERS: A good example of broadcast story turned print article. It included all the details I'd expect of a crime report: what transpired, the names of the victims, and the current status of the case in question. It's more utilitarian, I feel, than anything else.

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  5. I agree that there should only be so much context given in a story and that it should have focused more on the man that died rather than the background story unless the background story was NOT already published (but I can't imagine why that wouldn't be covered ASAP and then the man dying would have been an update). Maybe I missed this in the story when I read it, but I'm also interested to know the motives: why did these guys decide to break in with fake guns?
    My only other criticism regarding the man's background would be that the reporter should state in the story whether or not the information could be found. If a reporter is still waiting on the facts and intends to update a story, I think that he or she should always say so in the original story. This is a great way to hook the reader and keep them satisfied with your work rather than them thinking "(So and so) didn't say this. I'll try another source."

    I also think it's great to include all of the different news mediums because there are so many ways to get through to people nowadays that I think it's important to include as much as you can to reach out to a bigger audience.

    And I appreciate that you checked for grammar!

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  6. I definitely liked the usage of the different multi-platforms in the story as well. It is always easier for me to be engaged and attentive to a story when there are pictures and videos presented along with the text. I also think that the title of the story is misleading. The suspect who died from the gunshot wound was only vaguely talked about in the article. Otherwise, the article was written very well and was easy to read. It seems pretty obvious that these five kids were looking to nab some quick cash or steal some drugs when they attempted the robbery.

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  7. I liked to use of pictures in this article it made it easier to read when I had a visual to refer to. I agree that the title was not really misleading, but just odd. It did not seem as though the article deserved that title. This home invasion story was interesting but like many of us think, the title was not the best.

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  8. Overall, I think this story was very informative and engaging for the usual cut and dry, crime piece. After reading the headline several times over, I thought it was adequate for the story. I agree with Danny, and the multi-platforms used to fully cover the story really exceeded the average. However, I would like to see a follow up piece on the motive behind the robbery, and what happens to the accused.

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    Replies
    1. I agree that the story was exceptionally engaging, despite it being a general crime piece (which at times tend to be dry and uninteresting). I did feel that the layout of the text and it's content was a not very chronological; the author states at the end the background behind that of the deceased, and also stated how drugs were found in the home before the actual event. That could have been a key source of information, depending on whether or not the drugs were a factor into the invasion.

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  9. The use of multiple platforms really helped highlight different parts of the story. Using multiple platforms definitely illustrated the plot of what happened. Onto the misleading headline, it really was a display of poor story telling. Seeing as the headline should be a basic summary of the article, this was very disappointing.

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  10. Overall, I agree that the article was an accurate depiction of good news reporting. Danny is right, the headline is a bit misleading since it highlighted the death of someone, rather than just a shooting itself. It wasn't until the end of the article did the writer offer grief to the story by siting his memory Facebook page. The writer may have done that just to attract readers. The multiple platforms of storytelling, like the article, pictures, and video allowed the reader to get a good grasp on the situation at hand, and draw their own conclusions. It was a little too factual, but for a shooting or crime report that is probably a better medium of writing.

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  11. I thoroughly enjoyed this article and think it was presented to the reader in a very compelling way, as mentioned by many of the others. Not only was there an interesting title, but there are also visuals of the arrested men and a video component. The article was well written and informative, making you want to check back for more..perhaps when they find out the motives of the men for breaking into the house (I'm interested to know!). However, I do agree that the title is a bit misleading. I think this was done solely to draw in an audience, catching the eye of a larger amount of readers.

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  12. I agree that the article was very well done. It was concise and to the point. The facts were given to you straight and early in the article and there was no mistaking what was taking place. I also enjoyed the video aspect. It allows you to see the information clearly through the video and get sense of where the robbery took place. The article was a little vague with the kid that died from the gunshot wound and with the drugs they found in the apartment but overall I thought it was a good article.

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  13. As a college student, this article is very interesting and important. It makes you start to wonder how safe you are in your own apartment on campus. I do agree that there should have been more about the deceased. More background on him would clear up a few questions about everything that transpired. Other than that I thought this was great reporting. The entire article kept me interested, which as we just learned in class, is tricky to do. The visuals drew me in and the writing kept me there.

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  14. I agree with Danny with the misleading components of the article. The headline is directed towards one topic and the subject moves to another. But overall I did not think that was something that needs to be heavily critized. Like Jackie said this is a relatable, relevant story to us college students. Between all the mediums used and the intriguing way the article was approached, unlike most dry crime articles that just say who, what, where and when. The story had some background and took a twist in the outcome.

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  15. I find the article somewhat disappointing that we aren't given more information on the murdered suspect. This story is particularly interesting because none of the suspects that committed the crime had any history of criminal records. The motive of the armed robbery seems to be very vague blaming it solely on drugs, but I suppose that leaves in open for interpretation. I really admire the use of multimedia because I think it brings in a variety of viewers who may not want to read the story but are willingly to watch a video or vice versa.

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  16. I agree with Eli. There could have easily been more information about the murdered suspect to make the story more compelling and "easier" to read. I thought that it was interesting that the men are being accused of kidnapping. I personally thought you had to take someone somewhere for it to be considered a kidnapping... but hey what do I know? Overall, not a bad article though. I thought it was well written and all the necessary information was presented in a clear cut way.

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