Sunday, March 17, 2013

Pittsburgh Teen Charged With Assault in Officer Shoot-off

18 year old Dante Bonner of Pittsburgh, PA has been charged with assault after shooting a police officer early Sunday morning. After a somewhat unclear turn of events with Bonner, his friends and the police officers, it resulted in Officer Christopher Ketris sustaining a leg injury. Ketris and his partners are currently being paid on administrative leave until the incident is further investigated. 

This article is informative and detailed, which is good since it is discussing a crime. However I do have a few issues with how it was written. Specifically, (because it has been throughly discussed in class ) inverted style pyramid writing. The author laid out facts in a disorderly manner. The first two paragraphs discuss what happened, with the most important content. After that the current condition of the shot officer is stated. Then, the past criminal history of Bonner is explained, despite it not being relevant to this shooting (especially because it is an open case). Quotes from any type of source as also lacking.

Do you think this article is too descriptive? Would a shorter, more straight to the point piece have been easier to read?

13 comments:

  1. http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/region/pittsburgh-police-officer-and-suspect-shot-during-gunfire-exchange-today-679705/

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  2. I thought the article was written pretty well, but it could have had more factual information to help make clear what really went on dealing with the whole situation. Not having any quotes from witnesses or police officers doesn't help when reporting a crime story. Other than that, I liked how the article included Bonner's criminal history and the details surrounding the immediate incident between Bonnor and Officer Kertis.

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  3. I believe that this article was written very well and I do not think that it was overly descriptive. In my opinion it has just the right amount of detail. I feel like there is really nothing else that I need to know about the events. Scott brought up quotes, and I do not think that the lack of quotes take anything away from this story. It may have helped it, but I do not believe that a lack or quotes hurts this story. I also think it follows the inverted pyramid structure pretty well, putting the most important information first. While the ending is important, I do not think I absolutely need it to understand this story.

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  4. I feel like this article was well-written, it is just leaving out some information. Particularly and most importantly I was left wondering why he felt the need to shoot. However, I feel like this article was written pretty soon after the event and is more of a developing story. For the little amount of information that the author did have, though, I thought it was well put together and a nice piece. Perhaps more information will soon be released.

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  5. I think the story is actually very interesting. A follow up question I would like to know is whether police confirmed there reasonable suspicion? What was originally going on and did the passenger get out when the door popped open? I agree that the layout could be changed to make the story more informative. The line by line tale of the incident is not as compelling as the end where it states that the two officers are on administrative leave. From my knowledge that means an allegation has been made against them or their conduct in a manner, which is knowledge that I believe is incredibly relevant. Overall, I think some parts of the story could have been substituted with more relevant information, or make it noted that they didn't have that information.

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  6. I also think some parts could have been switched up a bit to include more important information toward the top. However, I think the author started the story out well and he did include the current condition of the officer right up toward the beginning. I don't think putting it higher would have helped the flow and you can't put every detail in the lead. That would read terribly and no one would read further.

    I would have like to see the administrative leave information up higher and like Serena said, more information bout the suspicions would have added to the story. I don't know if they can't say that or if the author just didn't ask enough questions or the right ones. It would have been nice if the author was a little more informative or transparent in that sense.

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  7. I also agree that this article did not do a great job at following the inverted pyramid style. When talking about a crime, people want to hear about the criminals' pasts. They want to understand why the person may have committed the crime. Sometimes it is hard to write about crimes because it can be very cut and dry. However, I thought this article did a good job of pulling the reader in without it becoming boring or repetitive.

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  8. The article was well written despite it not following an inverted pyramid style structure. I feel like it could have done a better job if it switched up some things and some outside quotes would have been nice, but overall I liked the story and the way it relayed a lot of descriptive background information on the case.

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  9. KYLE WIGGERS: I think the quality of the article is adequate for what it is: a brief conveyance of events. There isn't much depth here, and so not much to be said. But perhaps if this story gains traction - which it should, because it's intriguing - we'll see a nice follow-up piece. As this stands, though, the story is perfunctory.

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  10. The article is a good narrative about the incident, however the way in which it is written isn't constructive towards the story. It makes it anti-climatic in a way, by giving the main point of the story later in the article. The story seems backwards, giving the lose ends first and the main piece second; an inverted style pyramid would have been more beneficial to the writer.

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  11. I think the article was a decent piece. It was clear cut and precise, but I did feel that some of the material was placed awkwardly, but that's just my personal preference. Overall, I still understood the story and thought it was straight forward and to the point.

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  12. I enjoyed this article, I thought that it was an interesting read and I know that it was more compelling to me than a political article. I also agree with Markita, that at some part the story got a little awkward to read. The piece told the story well overall and it got to the point nicely. I liked this article.

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  13. I thought the article used the inverted pyramid style well and presented the most important information first. Within two short paragraphs I had a good grasp on what had happened and how the shooting played out. As a reader we know Mr. Bonner was in critical condition when he went to the hospital but there is no more info on whether he survived the shooting or not. The writer didn't make any assumptions or confuse any readers. The article, although short, was very informative and follows the guidelines of a breaking news story.

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